This topic comes up so frequently that there's really no point in trying to give credit where credit is due.
I have a quite a few friends, both in Michigan and Chicago, who are plus size. These are the women I share my Lane Bryant coupons with, email Kiyonna links to, and ask if they've tried the new such and such so and so has to offer. These are the women I can relate to best, because they're walking in my shoes.
So often I find myself commiserating or venting with these women at how hard it can be to be a bigger woman in today's society. I've had guys walk up to me in bars and ask where the Twinkie sale is. Kids have pointed at me out of the back end of their parents' mini van with puffed up cheeks mouthing the words, "You're fat!" Even my own mother used to say the infamous, "You could be so pretty if only you'd lose weight." Because in today's world, being fat is one of the biggest sins you can commit, and no matter how pretty your face is, how fashionable your clothes, how witty your banter is, or how genuine you are, you're still fat. And that, my friends, is a sin.
What saddens me even more however is how quickly so many plus size gals buy into this line of bullshit. That somehow theses beautiful, smart, fashionable, glorious women are deemed unworthy to live the lives they want to live, deserve to live because of their size.
So many times I've asked my girlfriend Hope to join me on a girls night out only to have her tell me no. When I press her for a reason, ninety percent of the time it's because she "doesn't want to be the fat girl at the bar." Um, hello? Hope? Hi, it's me. Mo. Your size 22/24 friend. I AM the fat girl at the bar. Duh.
Don't get me wrong. I've had my share of embarrassments as the fat girl at the bar. Some I've mentioned, but yeah, there are also the times I've simply said hello to a guy after squeezing in next to him at the bar only to hear him say to his buddies, "Dudes! The fat girl next to me is hitting on me!" Which begs the question: when did simply saying hello become synonymous with hitting on people?
I've watched in quiet horror as one of the most beautiful women I know hides her body under clothes three sizes too large for her. This woman has a rockin' hourglass figure I'd give my hair for (which is saying a lot because I love my hair ninety percent of the time) but so often it's hidden under shapeless sweaters and sweatshirts.
That's not to say I haven't had my frumpy moments. Nor am I going to deny that I've turned down my size four wearing sister on a girls night out invitation because I just wasn't in the mood to roll up my plus-size sleeves and be the good time plus size gal you see dancing to the cupid shuffle with a Long Island in her hand.
But I'm not turning down every invitation that comes my way. These days I'm more likely to turn down someone not because I'm large, but because my wallet can't handle it (by the way, if you know of any executive / sales / marketing assistant jobs, let me know, will ya?). I don't want to put my life on hold because I'm waiting to lose weight. It's the only life we've got, you know.
It's like John Lennon once said. "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." Stop planning on how great your life is going to be after you lose weight, and start living your life now.