… or sense of fun, or sense of like what's sexy or cool or tough." – Angelina Jolie
I was boppin' around on Yahoo's Shine the other day (which is on the same parallel as MSN's Lifestyles by the way) when I came across a user post. Sidebar: one of the best things about Shine is they let Yahoo users post their own little "articles." How cool is that? Anyways, the user post was "20 Surprising Things That Turn Men On." Now obviously, it's a user post so there's no polling, scientific study, or opinions of other men in the post, but still, I found it relatively interesting.
I'm not going to comment on each individual thing that turns this guy on, but rather just the ones I feel inclined to share my commentary with the world about.
1. Lady in the street, freak in the bedroom. Now personally, I always thought it went "Lady in the street, freak in the sheets" as per the song "Yeah" by Usher featuring Ludacris, but not the point. Here's my point of view. Why is it that some men think the lady in the street is someone completely separate from the freak in the sheets? Don't get me wrong. We all have seen the woman who everyone knows is a freak in the sheets simply because she's a freak period. End of story. But why do some men think they need two separate ladies to play the roles of the girl you take home to mom versus the sex kitten you call after the bar because she's so good in bed? Why can't men ever hold out for the women who are a combination of both instead of cheating on the "classy lady" with the sex goddess? Bah!
4. She know how to walk in heels (yes, that's deliberate because that's how the author wrote it). I laughed at this one, I really did. Because let's face it, as sexy as guys find the high heeled shoes, what difference is it going to make if you're wobbling around and face planting every time you walk six feet?
7. Woman with a strong sense of self-esteem and confidence. This is absolutely true. My friend Chris has told me this, I've been turned down by guys because of this, my friend Ryan is always trying to bolster my self-esteem because I let guys get to me. The plain, simple truth is no one is ever going to love you until you love yourself. It's a hard truth, it's even harder to implement, I know. But try, ladies! Try! Because the other simple truth is no one can ever love you as much as you love yourself.
11. A chick that will play PS3 with me. I've never played PS3, but I've played Xbox. With my teeny tiny little hands. And I needed some help figuring out the controller. So he sat behind me. And wrapped his arms around me. To show me how to work the controller. See where I'm going with this? Ladies, never dismiss the appeal of video games. You may miss out on some very interesting possibilities.
19. A girl in a hoodie and sweats just chillin'… idk what it is. Calvin Klein himself once said,"I think there's something incredibly sexy about a woman wearing her boyfriend's T-shirt and and underwear." The point is, we don't always have to be "on" in front of our guys. Now, personally, I'm guilty of going from one extreme to the other, where I'm in full make up, hair all done, clothes ironed with cute shoes or I'm Angelina Jolie in Life or Something Like It when she's sitting in her apartment surrounded by junk food, yearbooks, and Social Distortion blasting on the stereo looking all "filmy" because she hasn't showered. Note to self: find a comfortable medium.
Now, for the most part, I found the list to be something to smile about, giggle in a few spots, nod affirmatively that "yes, I do that!", and roll my eyes over the horrible grammar. However, there were three items I disagreed vehemently with (there I go again, using big words). They are:
8. PAYING FOR YOUR OWN DINNER.
9. rich girls. i want a sugar mama.
18. a girl who's independent & always remembers I'm not her daddy.
Now, if you remember from some of my previous posts, I am all about the feminist movement in the sense that I rarely let a guy pay for the first date (some bad first dates ingrained themselves into my head and I haven't let it go yet). But ladies, let's face it. On one hand, we're the first to complain amongst ourselves that we're tired of people walking all over us and taking without ever giving back. So why do we then go on to bitch about men because they can't afford to take us out both Friday and Saturday night every weekend? Come on now, admit it. The men can't always be expected to pay. Especially if they're real men. They've got other responsibilities like car payments, mortgages, utility bills, etc. So be kind and pay. It's a rush! It's powerful and it's sexy! But most of all, it shows that not only do we care, but we respect men.
BUT… should you hear a man admit aloud, and publish something on the internet no less, that he wants a rich girl because he wants a sugar mama? Let's face it. A man who wants a woman to pay his way through life isn't a man at all. He's a little boy. So don't act all surprised when you suddenly find yourself in the mothering role. Because this man isn't going to hold down a job if he doesn't have to, he's not going to go the extra mile around the house, and he's probably too damn lazy to make sure you're taken care of, both financially and emotionally. He's a lazy, no good, good for nothin' little boy trapped in a man's body. Run, don't walk, in the opposite direction from the man who admits he wants a sugar mama.
And men, if you want an independent woman who always remembers you're not her daddy, here's a clue: DON'T ACT LIKE HER DADDY! Duh! Don't call us asking where we're at, who we're with, when we're going to be home, what we're wearing or what we're doing. Don't question us about decisions regarding our homes, our cars, our retirement plans, our wardrobe, our diet, and all of the other decisions we make as adults. When we want your opinion, we'll ask for it; and if we ask for your opinion, don't get mad at us if we don't take your advice. We asked for your opinion, not for you to make the decision for us. In turn, as independent ladies, we won't act like your mommy and clean up after you, ground you if you want to go out with the guys, march your butt down to the bar if you get in fight, dress you, examine behind your ears to make sure you washed, and all the rest of it. We're all adults here. And if either party is doing the parenting thing, neither party is independent.
And isn't that one of the things you found sexy about us in the first place?