I’ve been somewhat uncharacteristically serious as of late, so I thought now would be a good time to interject some humor. Last year, in the midst of moving, I thought it would be a good time to try online dating yet again. Amongst the responders was a gentleman I’ll refer to as Olive Garden, henceforth […]
In which I become paralyzed (figuratively, not literally)
Do y’all remember Preston? The guy with the suicidal dog? The guy I was with when the cops got called on our date because of the previously mentioned suicidal dog? Well, guess who got in touch with me a few months ago? You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out, […]
“I think you make mistakes, especially in your twenties, where you date guys you wouldn’t even be friends with – ever.” ~ Rashida Jones
Spring, 2005 when I was separated but not legally divorced and still living with Dipshit I was doing the duck/squat walk between cars in a Target parking lot, whispering into the phone with Kony. “Yes, I’m sure it’s him,” I hissed into the phone, raising myself up to look over the hood of a car […]
“Brains are like hearts…
… they go where they are appreciated." ~ Robert McNamara This ones for you, Carbs. Recently, in a discussion with a new group of friends, the question was asked, "How do you mend a broken heart?" Cue crickets chirping here. After a few moments, Veli haltingly supplied an answer. "Well, you just…. just wait for […]
Takin’ out the trash
So much I want to share, so little to say. So it's a random information day! At some point, that sounded good in my head. I was taking the trash out the other night when I spotted movement. My eyesight has never been all that great (I once tried petting my purse, thinking it was […]
“The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you,…
… and the rest don't know how to screw you!" ~ Samantha Jones, Sex and the City The other day Sassy Booties and I were alone in the front office, Water Buffalo off on a vacation day or some such nonsense. Wait, I should probably back this up a notch. A week or two ago, […]
“What’s playing at the Roxy? I’ll tell you what’s playing at the Roxy….
… Picture about a Minnesota man so in love with a Mississippi girl that he sacrifices everything and moves all the ways to Biloxi. That's what's playing at the Roxy." Nathan Detroit (Frank Sinatra) Guys and Dolls I love Sinatra. I love Guys and Dolls. Hence the reason for today's quote. Well that and it's […]
I’m the rule, not the exception ~ Mo
A continuation of last Monday's post. To summarize: Mo meets boy (Clark), Mo talks with boy, Mo is smitten but hesitant because of boy's use of the word curvy, boy assures Mo it's a euphemism, Mo sends more pictures of Mo to boy, boy rejects Mo. Mo was heartbroken. And Mo really needs to stop […]
“They’re the exception, and we’re not the exception, we’re the rule!”
~ Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) He's Just Not That Into You Hello friends. It's been awhile. My fault entirely. But I'm back and ready to share with you what's been going on with me. As you may recall, I recently posted a profile on Plenty of Fish (read my profile here) and unbelievably, I met a […]
“I can’t even find someone for a platonic relationship,…
… much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked." ~ Gilbert Gottfried I'm giving online dating another try. So here's the profile I came up with. About Me The first thing people usually notice about me is my smile. And then I open my mouth and spew forth hilarity. My laugh has […]